Anyone else would think that this is utter madness. How could any of what Dustin Henderson said be true? It’s completely crazy. Monsters and other dimensions aren’t real.

But it isn’t crazy. It’s real. Everything that Dustin said is right here, in front of me.

It took days of pacing my room, waiting for some of the shock to wear off before I finally made the decision to see for myself.

It had been weeks since Eddie died, and the grief had only just begun to lessen its horrendous grip on the hole that was now in my heart.

But now here I was, standing in a world that reminded me of a weird, cold version of Hell.

I had searched for the portal, just where Dustin had said it would be, and there it was. It looked like it was pulsing and alive. I didn’t tell anyone where I went, or what I was doing. Dustin had said, “I just want you to know the truth about Eddie. I know it sounds crazy but hear me out.”

As I listened to his story about monsters and other dimensions, I only listened without saying a word because it was about Eddie. If someone tried to tell me this crazy story that nightmares were usually made of, I wouldn’t have believed a word. But Dustin had said Eddie.

I missed him so much, it was like a huge hole had been punched through my chest. Every time I thought of him, I felt an ache in my heart. I couldn’t listen to music, I couldn’t go near his trailer park, and I found myself confined to my room most days. Even in the usual solace of my room, I couldn’t completely escape every reminder of him that made my grief feel fresh. One of his jackets that he had loaned me months ago was draped over my desk chair, notes that he had written me were piled across the desk, and Polaroid pictures of us were tucked in the frame of the mirror above my dresser.

At the end of Dustin’s story, I didn’t know how to react. He told me that he just wanted me to know the truth, despite how crazy it sounded. He didn’t die in an earthquake. He’s a hero. He always has been.

Working up the nerve to find proof of what Dustin had said kept me deadlocked for days. On the one hand, it sounded preposterous. But why would Dustin have told me all of that if it wasn’t true? He isn’t a liar, and there would be no purpose to spinning that story if it wasn’t the truth.

My mind was made up when my brain went back to what it always did: Eddie. The boy I loved and missed so fiercely that, even in the face of danger, I would go to the ends of the earth to find again.

The ground beneath my feet seemed to pulsate, as if it contained a beating heart. There were massive vines stretched all over the earth that covered everything as far as the eye could see. The sky and the ground were the same shades of bluish grey that seemed to blanket the whole world in darkness. Intermittent flashes of lighting cracked the sky, and they appeared to strike the ground in their fury. I stood in place, breathing deeply, watching my breath turn into fog. All the hairs on my arms were standing straight up. When I rubbed my arms, I found myself trying to soothe the goosebumps my skin was covered in.

What the hell is this place? Dustin had called it the Upside Down. He told me it was a mirror of our world, only much darker and much more menacing. He told me about all kinds of monsters: some that could run on all fours and didn’t have faces and some that had wings and bit with ravaging fury.

Eddie. Eddie was here.

I stood still, listening to the sounds around me. Despite not seeing a soul, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t alone. The strange thrumming of the earth, and the scrape of the vines across the ground as they moved, told me I wasn’t. It took a few minutes for me to gather the nerve to take a few steps, even though I still needed to force myself to breathe.

I was careful to step over the creepy vines, not wanting to know what would happen if I touched them. Despite the cold, a sheen of sweat coated my brow and trickled down my back. Everything inside me screamed to go back now, before it was too late.

But Eddie.

I forced myself to keep going forward, my eyes zeroed in on the ground, so I wouldn’t trip. I stopped to look up, watching the lighting flash across the sky and feeling the earth tremble under my feet. Keep breathing. Keep going.

After a while, I was able to keep walking while still treading carefully, as well as keeping a close eye on my surroundings. Dustin told me everything, probably never expecting that I would seek this place out myself. I tried to remember everything he told me, even though my mind was filled with fear. This nightmarish place was real, so all the monsters he told me about must be real too.

I clutched my dad’s gun tightly in my hands, hoping my sweaty palms could keep a firm grip on it. Thankfully, my dad had given me lessons on how to use it, not ever expecting I would need them. Still, I didn’t feel crazy enough to seek out this cursed dimension without protection.

Despite the fear gripping my heart, I tried to focus my thoughts and pay attention to my surroundings to see danger coming. I wasn’t sure if I would make it out of here alive. But something was driving me to keep moving, even though I wasn’t entirely sure what I was looking for.

Was it Eddie? Did some part of me think I would find his body, or maybe that I would find him alive? I didn’t know the rules of this world, and Dustin hadn’t given me details. I think he wanted to spare me from the worst. All I knew was, this is where Eddie was last. This seemed like a suicide mission, but my grief was so pronounced that I think I lost some of my logical abilities.

Suddenly, another crack of lighting split the sky, and I heard what sounded like the cries of some kind of hideous beast. Shrieking noises unlike anything I had ever heard pierced the air, and I quickly ducked down, trying to hide my head under my hands. After a moment, nothing happened to me, so I chanced a look at the skies. All I could see was a dark cloud moving across the horizon. I saw a cluster of trees to my left, so I quickly darted into them for cover. While hiding by the base of a massive tree, I glanced a peek around the trunk to see if the monsters were near me. I could only hear them from what sounded like far away.

Breathe. Just breathe. I repeated it like a mantra in my head until I could get my heartbeat back under control. My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest, and my knees were shaking. Trying to calm down felt like a losing battle; everywhere I looked, there was danger.

I kneeled on the ground by the tree and put my head between my knees. Keep it together, for Eddie.

After a few minutes, the shrieking sounds abated slightly. Whatever was making those noises seemed to be moving away from me. I dared to lift my head and look around again, and to my relief, I saw nothing. I still didn’t know what I was expecting to find, but I knew I never would until I got my fear under control.

I stood up and kept forcing myself to take deep breaths and stay alert for danger. After I found the strength to take a few steps, I walked further into the trees. In my utter terror, my sense of direction was skewed. I only vaguely remembered how to get back to the portal I came through. Before I could let fear paralyze me again, I decided to just keep moving.

While the woods around me was still thick, the gaps between the trees gradually began to widen. I still didn’t know where I was until I walked over a small hill and found myself at Skull Rock.

My breath caught in my throat. How did I end up here? Dustin had said this world was exactly like ours, only with the obvious creepy adornments of vines and darkness and monsters. I didn’t realize the direction I was moving in.

I walked slowly up to the rock, stepping over the vines covering the ground, and looked over it. Tears burned at the back of my eyes upon seeing this place. I had been to it before, only back in the real world.

I kept looking at it, fighting back tears, when a sound stopped my heart beating in my chest. I ducked and froze, breathing heavily. Something is here, I just heard it.

Utter terror had me locked in place as if I had been frozen. There it was again. I covered my mouth with my hand, holding back a scream, and forced myself not to move a muscle.

A few agonizing seconds ticked by, and I heard no more noises. I stayed frozen, wanting to know I was truly alone before I moved again.

Suddenly, I heard a rustling noise on the ground near me. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will myself to not faint from utter panic. Maybe if I don’t move, whatever it is will go away.

Even if the monster couldn’t see me, I felt like it had to hear the frantic beating of my heart. I could hear it in my ears, thundering loudly. I had never been so terrified in all my life.

I could hear what sounded like something walking towards me. I clutched my gun, finger on the trigger, trying to will myself to be ready to fire. Something was here, and it was right in front of me.

A few seconds went by, and whatever it was didn’t move. I know it was standing a few feet away from me. Knowing that this might be the end, I raised my head to look at the beast…until my knees buckled beneath me and my heart stopped in my chest.

A hellish beast stood in front of me, with the overall form of a man, but with massive, bat-like wings spread out behind him. His skin was a sickly grey color, and his torso was covered in gashes and what looked like bites. It looked like old blood was still smeared over his skin around the wounds. But when my eyes moved up to its face, I felt the world shift beneath me.

This monster that looked like something dead, something completely inhuman…was Eddie.

Despite the monstrous wings and its pitch-black eyes, its hair was long, curly, and wild. The clothes that it was wearing were shredded and ripped, but I recognized what was left of his jacket and vest. He curled his lips over his teeth as he looked at me, and I saw two sharp fangs protruding from his mouth. His eyes were furious, black, and they looked sunken in their sockets…but it was him.

My hand moved to my open mouth. Utter shock had me falling to the ground, dropping my gun, and unable to look away from the great and terrible beast standing in front of me. His wings twitched slightly, his chest heaved with large breaths, and he continued to stare at me. I looked into those pitch-black eyes and saw nothing of the Eddie I knew in them. Where Eddie’s brown eyes had been so warm and filled with depth, this monster had eyes filled with bloodlust.

Tears gushed out of my eyes as I tried to catch my breath. Surely, I had fallen asleep and stumbled into a nightmare. This can’t be real. Eddie is dead.

But as I gazed at the creature, he appeared to be studying me too. It could have been days that we both just looked at each other. Time seemed to stop completely.

Somehow, I found my voice had returned. “Eddie?” I asked, my voice nothing more than a squeak.

The thing before me didn’t react, just kept standing there and looking at me.

I swallowed the fear that was gripping me and tried to say his name again.

“Eddie…it’s me.”

I swear his breath hitched slightly as he continued staring at me.

I felt like my legs had disappeared into the earth. I couldn’t move, or think, or hardly even breathe. I just kept looking at him, standing before me, somehow Eddie but not at the same time.

His wings twitched again, and he folded them into his back. His breathing slowed, and as I watched him, I saw his pupils shrink until his eyes weren’t entirely black. He had been standing tall, but I swear his shoulders dropped slightly.

Without knowing why, a force outside of me seemed to take control and had me standing up, my eyes never leaving his face. That force had to be insane, because I found myself moving closer to him. There was a voice in the back of my head that was screaming at me to run, but still, my feet took me closer and closer to him.

He continued to stand still, not moving, watching as I came closer. I reached my hand out to him and lightly touched his chest. It was as if he deflated like a balloon at my touch; he seemed to shrink a few inches as he melted into my hand. Those eyes, previously filled with bloodlust, seemed to cloud over. I fell into him, not caring if my life was over. As fresh tears ran down my cheeks, I pressed my face into his cold chest and let myself sob uncontrollably. Even though he wasn’t warm and soft like Eddie had been, smelling like he usually did, my heart began to race at our touch. I wrapped my arms around the beast, wondering if this was finally the end for me. Was I so crazed with grief that I was willing to walk into death’s arms, just because it looked like Eddie? Logic swept from my brain completely as I melted into the monster in front of me.

A few seconds later, I felt him slowly wrap his arms around me. Then, I felt him rest his head on top of mine. I gasped as fresh tears choked me. Instead of fingernails, he had claws, and I felt them as he pressed his arms into me and pulled me closer to him.

I wanted so badly to speak, to say his name, to say anything…but I was so consumed by tears that no words would come. He pulled me closer into him and pressed his face into my neck.

“How…” he started to say into my ear, but then I felt him shudder. Suddenly, before I knew what happened, he was several feet away from me. His wings were stretched fully behind him, and his eyes…they were red.

I fell to the ground and tried to level my breathing. He was gazing at me, his pulsing red eyes filled with fear. At me.

“Eddie…” I gasped, reaching for him. He was breathing heavily, his mouth open, his piercing fangs fully visible. My eyes went to his mouth, and I finally noticed what looked like dried blood around his mouth. His eyes were sunken into his skull, and his now red eyes were staring at me. The wings behind him were extended to their full length, and they were as massive as the span of an eagle, except these wings looked like the wings of a bat.

“I…oh,” I said, all the pieces of the puzzle finally coming together.

I couldn’t speak as I continued to look at him. Gradually, his pupils went from red back to black. He was breathing heavily, as if trying to control himself. Eventually, the fear in his eyes faded, only to be replaced by pain. Finally, he started to speak.

“How did you…you can’t be here, it’s not safe, it’s…” I choked back the tears that threatened to leak behind my eyes, grasping desperately at any sense of control over my senses. I had leapt into his arms, and he held me, he didn’t try to kill me…but for a second, it looked like he wanted to.

“I came looking for you,” I whispered, not able to tear my gaze from him.

The sadness in his eyes was all-consuming. His wings drooped and his shoulders sank. “It’s not safe for you. I’m not safe.”

“What…I don’t…” I tried to say, but words were continuing to fail me. He appeared to have regained control of himself as he stepped towards me, grabbing my arms with his clawed hands.

“You have to leave, now,” he said, a single tear leaking out of one eye.

I shook out of his hold on me and shook my head firmly. “I won’t leave you.”

He looked down, pain etched in every pore of his face. He tried to grab my arms again, but I flung out at him, suddenly feeling anger replace the grief that had just consumed me.

“I WON’T LEAVE YOU!” I shouted, wrathful tears leaking from my eyes. “Here you are, alive, and you’re telling me to leave! What the fuck is this place, what is happening, what…”

Before I could finish what would have been more mad ravings, he pulled me into his arms and pressed his face into my shoulder. I collapsed again as my legs seemed to melt. I clutched onto him, gasping wildly, my anger and my confusion swarming all my senses. I felt like I was going to keep sobbing, but I couldn’t produce more tears.

“Please, I don’t want to hurt you…” he whispered to me. I felt his own tears soaking my shirt as he kept pulling me closer to him, so close that I could barely breathe.

“Then don’t,” I said breathlessly. “It’s me.”

“I…I can barely control myself,” he started to say, his face still pressed into my shoulder.

I pulled away slightly so I could look at his face. Even though the being that looked back at me looked half-dead, had black eyes, and massive wings…I could still see Eddie. The past few weeks rushed through my brain, and I saw myself wrapped up in his jacket, lying on my bed, prostrate with grief. My memories had been flush with Eddie, who had been so full of life and humor. This beast in front of me was nothing like those memories I had of him before I thought he died, but it was still him. Even though his black eyes looked so different from the brown ones he had in life, there was still a fragment of the Eddie I knew, hidden deep inside.

Despite the change, he knew who I was. His nature compelled him to hurt me, but he didn’t. Some of his memories had to be intact, somehow. Had he died and somehow come back to life? Is that why he looked like a corpse fresh out of the grave?

“What happened to you?” I finally managed to ask. He leaned back far enough to meet my eyes, while still holding me tightly.

He closed his eyes as more tears fell from them. “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “Everything is a blur.”

“But you remember me. You know who I am,” I said quickly.

He nodded. “I do, but you…your smell, I…”

He was trying to say something, but words kept failing him.

“What the hell do you mean?” I asked, my frustration showing. “I don’t understand.”

He met my eyes again and slightly opened his mouth, showing me his deadly fangs. “I don’t know why, but something is driving me to hurt you, and I don’t want to…”

“Are you…some kind of…vampire?” I finally managed to spit out. “But, how…?”

He shook his head, ruffling his messy hair. “I don’t know, I don’t remember very much.”

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut, trying desperately to wake up if this was some kind of nightmare. All my dreams up until this point had been about Eddie in life, not as a…vampire. It seemed completely crazy and made no sense. Somehow, I was able to accept everything Dustin told me, despite how far-fetched it all sounded. But now, the Eddie I knew was still gone and had been replaced by this…I couldn’t think the word monster. This was Eddie, he couldn’t be a monster. Everything about him was warm and good, and this being was cold and looked like death rolled over…and had wings.

“Eddie, I…” I started to say before I found myself choking on my words. “I…I can’t lose you. Not again.”

Once again, he pulled me close into him. I felt his body tighten, as if holding me was causing him pain. Nonetheless, he kept his arms around me. I found myself wishing he would never let go.

“I can’t go back, not like this, and you can’t stay here. It’s too dangerous,” he said quietly.

“What am I supposed to do? I can’t go back knowing that you’re stuck here, alive.”

“You have to. Please. I can’t protect you.” He was pleading as he continued to grip me tightly in his strong arms.

I pressed my face into his chest, and for the first time, I noticed that I couldn’t hear his heart beating. It was completely silent. I sucked in a breath, trying to hold back more tears. Keeping it together was next to impossible, no matter how hard I tried.

“Eddie, I…” I started to say, then gulped as more tears built in my eyes, “I…I love you.”

His hard, cold body melted into mine again. Now, I felt like I was holding him up instead of the other way around.

“I love you. And I want to go home, but…I can’t. I can’t be responsible for anything happening to you,” he said, his black eyes meeting mine again.

“But, what about your uncle? What about…”

He stopped me by shaking his head. “They can’t know. I’d rather they think I’m dead.”

As my eyes continued to burn, a fierce headache broke into my skull. I wasn’t capable of producing any more tears. I was completely spent from the fear that had consumed me, the grief that had driven me to my knees, and all of the hurt and the confusion from everything that was happening. I understood that this wasn’t a dream, that Eddie was here, holding me…but he couldn’t come home. No one could know he was here. Even though he was alive, he wasn’t the same.

I raised my hand to his cheek and placed it there, and he closed his eyes and leaned into my touch.

“How am I supposed to go on like you’re dead, when I know you’re not?” I asked him quietly.

He opened his eyes and met mine again. “You have to. For me. I wish you hadn’t come, I wish you didn’t put yourself in danger like this, but…you reminded me that I was human. That it wasn’t all a dream.”

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I don’t want to leave you, ever again, but you have to go home. At least for now. I don’t want this kind of life for you, and I don’t know what will happen if you stay here any longer…”

Before I could form a coherent thought, I launched myself at him and kissed him, viciously. As if my very life depended on it. I felt his body stiffen, but then soften as he kissed me back. He wrapped his arms around my body and I tossed my arms around his neck, bringing him closer to me. Suddenly, it felt like the last few weeks hadn’t happened, that Eddie hadn’t died. I was here, in his arms, as if my grief had been nothing more than a nightmare. As if I would wake up and feel his arms around me and hear him whispering in my ear, “It’s okay sweetheart, it was just a bad dream.”

I deepened the kiss, wanting to get lost in the hopes that were now making me feel weightless. I wanted so badly to have him back that I ached all over. I physically ached for Eddie, and I wanted to do anything and everything to have him be home again, exactly the way he always was. I fell in love with his devil-may-care attitude, his passion, his humor, and how gentle and sweet he was. Everyone else thought he was the devil, but I always knew that wasn’t even close to true. Even though he was trapped in this hell, and even though he resembled a demon in appearance, the Eddie I knew and loved still burned under that cold skin.

As we kissed, I felt his sharp fangs graze my lips. He appeared to be showing extraordinary resistance to sinking his teeth in me. His wings that had been folded tightly behind his back now wrapped around us like a protective cocoon. Eventually, he pulled back slightly and sucked in a breath.

“I’m sorry…” I said to him, seeing the pain stretched across his face. His eyes were oscillating between red and black. It almost looked like he was holding his breath.

With inhuman speed, he suddenly scooped me up into his arms and started walking away from the rock. I was stunned by his strength and his speed, but then I remembered that he wasn’t human anymore. The whole time he carried me, I looked at his face and pressed my own into his chest. Even though he didn’t look the same, I wanted to memorize every detail of his face.

Before long, I found myself back at the portal I had come through. It was still pulsing oddly, as if it was alive and breathing. I sucked in a breath as he set me down gently and then pulled me into his arms.

“I don’t ever want to let you go,” I whispered into him as fresh tears gushed from my eyes.

“I can’t go on if you’re not at home, safe. Please. Stay safe, for me.”

Agonizingly, I nodded slowly against his chest.

“I love you,” I said again.

He kissed the top of my head. “I love you,” he whispered back. Within a second, there was a mighty rush of air, and then he was gone. I blinked rapidly, trying to see through the wetness of my eyes, but he was nowhere to be seen. My breath caught in my throat as I looked around, wanting desperately to see him again. I’m not ready to let go.

Before I could think about it more, I forced myself through the quivering door and tried not to look back. As I stumbled through, I was met by warm air and the gentle hum of crickets in the night. I could only curl up on the barren ground and let more tears wash me away into agony. Everything on my body ached, my head felt like it was splitting open, and there was an all-consuming pain in my chest that had me heaving to normalize my breath.

I don’t know how long I lie there on the ground, not even remembering where I was. I had come to this place as if on auto pilot, letting my feet guide me while my head was a whirlwind of thoughts and doubts and hopes and fears. I waited until I felt strong enough to try and stand up, even though it took a few tries to get on my feet. Through the pounding of my head and the continuous flow of tears, I forced myself to try and muster the strength to get myself home and cleaned up before my parents discovered I was gone.

Nothing would ever be the same again. How could I possibly be strong enough to go on, as if Eddie was still dead? Was being trapped there a fate worse than death? Would I be strong enough to stay away, to stay safe, like he begged me to do?

I wanted so badly for that fantasy to come true: the one where I woke up, safe, in his arms. I wasn’t sure I even cared if it was warm, sweet, doe-eyed Eddie or the magnificent and terrifying creature of darkness with massive wings that I had just seen.

He remembers. He loves me. Somehow, some way, I won’t let this be the end.

That was the thought I repeated in my head, over and over again, to give me the strength to return home and keep telling the world that Eddie Munson, my Eddie, was dead.